FlamingText

Five stages of global warming:

1. Denial: "It isn't happening. Why, just a few years ago, weren't scientists worried about an ice age? Those crazy scientists."

2. Anger: "Why are all these chicken-little climatologists getting so worked up over a natural warming cycle that has nothing to do with human activity? They're just trying to rustle up grant money by scaring everybody, and that makes me hopping mad! Think of the economic consequences if we were to start listening to science now."

3. Bargaining: "Okay, let's agree to some gradual, voluntary changes that will take effect over the next twenty years to bring emissions back down to 1990 levels. Will that fix the problem? It will, won't it? What if I buy a Prius?"

4. Depression: "Oh man, we're screwed. We needed to do something about this 30 years ago, and now it's too late. If only we'd known."

5. Acceptance: "Oh well, there's nothing to be done. Might as well enjoy the time we've got left. In an Escalade, driving down the freeway with the stereo playing 'Don't Fear the Reaper'."

Matching Game

There are two of every type of card. When two identical cards are turned over simultaneously, they are taken out of play. The game ends when all cards are gone.

Dept. of Hate To See You Go, Love To Watch You Leave

"So I totally caught this guy checking out my aura when he thought I wasn't looking. I was like, 'Hey buddy, my crown chakra is up here!' "

Domo Arigato

from Michael Kupperman's "Snake and Bacon's Cartoon Cabaret"

The Rules

These are taken verbatim from "Chuck Amuck"--the autobiography of Chuck Jones.

RULE 1: The Road Runner cannot harm the Coyote except by going "Beep! Beep!"
RULE 2:No Outside Force can harm the Coyote --Only his own ineptitude or the failure of the ACME products.
RULE 3:The Coyote could stop anytime --if he were not a fanatic (Repeat: "A fanatic is one who redoubles his effort when he has forgotten his aim." - George Santayana).
RULE 4: No dialogue ever, except "Beep! Beep!"
RULE 5: The Road Runner must stay on the road -- otherwise, logically, he would not be called the roadrunner.
RULE 6: All action must be confined to the natural environment of the two characters -- the Southwest American Desert.
RULE 7: All Materials, tools, weapons or mechanical conveniences must be obtained from the ACME corporation.
RULE 8:Whenever possible, make gravity the Coyote's greatest enemy.
RULE 9: The Coyote is always more humiliated than harmed by his failures.