FlamingText

Response to my Spaniard friend regarding our respective health care systems

The U.S. health care system does one thing better than any other system in the world: make a profit. In every other regard it is a miserable failure but in this one arena it is unparalleled.

It's all about what you choose to prioritize.

Sounds of the City: The Car Who Cried Wolf

Curbside cries for solace ring out, echoing unheard through indifferent concrete canyons: "Strangers are touching me! Oh, won't somebody rush to my aid?"

"Jesus," you said, covering your ears as you turned to look without breaking stride. "I wish somebody would steal it."

Making A List, Checking It Twice Dept.

You know, we've all heard plenty about the happy, perky elves Santa's got working round the clock in his toy shop. But what of the plight of the be-sooted, emphysmic elves ceaselessly toiling in the perpetual darkness of Santa's coal mines? Will no-one shed a tear for the heartbreaking unseen collateral damage of the Naughty List?

牛逼

Oral Roberts, Famed Performance Artist, Dies at 91

Today marked the death of beloved performance artist Oral Roberts, best known for a 1986 prank in which he re-enacted the famous hostage-taking scene from the Mel Brooks movie Blazing Saddles, casting God in the role of the "unseen kidnapper." His "Called Home" stunt was so wildly popular that he was able to raise more than 9 million dollars to continue his work in the entertainment field.

I Started My Day Off Hearing Two Separate Conspiracy Theories On The Internet.

In any instance where the facts are not known there will be speculation, and often that speculation will reflect the political biases of the speculators. But the presence of questionable alternative explanations does not render the Official Story true by default. In fact, the opposite might tend to be true: When the Official Story seems conspicuously incomplete, a large number of alternative explanations will tend to propagate, most of which will be wrong.

If a puppy is placed into a herd of one hundred cattle, one cannot transform the puppy into a cow simply by "rounding down to zero." Ergo, sometimes things must be evaluated on a case-by-case basis.

Unknowable

Einstein pushed the button, closing the circuit and setting off the charge that sent Newton's clockwork universe exploding in a shower of sparks,

Make Your Own Headlines

Some of you may have been wondering how right-wing watchdogs like Glenn Beck, Sarah Palin and the alcoholic uncle seated next to you at the Thanksgiving table manage to stay on top of all the terrible things that freedom-hating Democrats have slipped into their proposed health-care 'reform.'  Surely the process of researching this terrifying piece of legislation must be an all-consuming one, requiring tireless hours of poring over obscure documents written in opaque legalese?

Well, if you can keep a secret, I'll tell you how they do it. They use the following Obamacare Scare-Story Generator™, and now you can too!

You see? Ferreting out the truth doesn't require a journalism degree, just an open mind. Stay free!