March 03, 2010
Conditions of Living in the Modern World, Example XXVII
Hearing a persistent beeping sound and being unable to ascertain its origin.
February 23, 2010
Smurfatar
"Day 30: They still view me as something of a village idiot, not just for my inability to adapt to this primitive life of running through trees, avoiding predators and gathering edible fruits, but for my continuing difficulties mastering their language. It is a language oddly dominated by one particular word, which occurs in so many variations as to seem, to an outsider, virtually meaningless. It has no English translation."
February 11, 2010
This Is What Comes Of Having A Subscription to Entertainment Weekly
The current Hollywood word to watch out for? Reboot. It actually creates a new increment of unoriginality beyond that already implied in "sequel" or even "remake."
I particularly enjoy the implications created by the word's origins. As somebody who does a fair amount of work on Windows computers I've come to think of re-booting as a bad thing; It's what you do when your machine fails to function properly. First you curse, then you hit Ctrl+Alt+Delete, then you cross your fingers and hope that when everything's up and running again five minutes from now, the catastrophic problem you just experienced will have magically fixed itself. This is more or less exactly how Hollywood PR flacks use the word. Replace the phrase "computer running Windows" with "Ang Lee's Hulk" and you'll see what I mean.
Q: What do Disney executives do with a dead horse?
A: Reboot it!
January 28, 2010
Response to my Spaniard friend regarding our respective health care systems
The U.S. health care system does one thing better than any other system in the world: make a profit. In every other regard it is a miserable failure but in this one arena it is unparalleled.
It's all about what you choose to prioritize.
January 20, 2010
Sounds of the City: The Car Who Cried Wolf
Curbside cries for solace ring out, echoing unheard through indifferent concrete canyons: "Strangers are touching me! Oh, won't somebody rush to my aid?"
"Jesus," you said, covering your ears as you turned to look without breaking stride. "I wish somebody would steal it."
January 12, 2010
January 10, 2010
December 22, 2009
Making A List, Checking It Twice Dept.
You know, we've all heard plenty about the happy, perky elves Santa's got working round the clock in his toy shop. But what of the plight of the be-sooted, emphysmic elves ceaselessly toiling in the perpetual darkness of Santa's coal mines? Will no-one shed a tear for the heartbreaking unseen collateral damage of the Naughty List?
