Well, it was an unmarked white van, so I guess I could see how one might mistake it for a police van. It was parked two blocks West of Broadway and Denny --you know, that intersection where all the junkies and street kids hang out? Across the white canvas of the windowless side panel, someone had taken a sharpie and written
"Stop arresting my friends!"
The dot over the "i" in "friends" was a little circle.
Underneath, in another script, this response:
"Stop writing graffiti on a tofu delivery van."
Followed by the driver's signature and the name of the company.
Which of course sends me off on one of my little tangents:
Tangent #3
"I heard about Scotty. That's fucked up, yo."
"I saw the whole thing going down from across the street. Parking lot of the Jack in the Box."
"Cops got him, huh? Did anybody find out what they popped him for? Was it possession with intent or some bullshit disturbing the peace--"
"Wasn't cops."
"What? What do you mean? I heard it was cops."
"It was the tofu guys."
"No way!"
"I'm afraid so."
"Man! What's up with those guys? I mean, what's their deal?"
"I wish I knew, my friend. I wish I knew."
Posted by flamingbanjo at February 1, 2005 04:13 PMHm, maybe I could just sell them some select parts. I'm sure if they just lypo'ed a couple of spots it would be enough for at least a few packages of semi-firm...
Posted by: KING COMTE I at February 2, 2005 12:33 PMYou need to close your font tag. The courier's running on down the page (there's an image for you).
Really? Did that fix it? I'm not seeing it on Safari, but maybe on Explorer....
Posted by: flamingbanjo at February 2, 2005 03:57 PMYou realise TOFU is an initialism - stands for Totally and Utterly . . . .
Could be worse - if they were Italian, they'd be after a Pizza your ass . . .
Posted by: Simon at February 3, 2005 03:42 AMSo tofu is a relative of snafu? Who knew?
Posted by: flamingbanjo at February 3, 2005 09:34 AMTofu is Snafu's evil twin - they were separated at birth. And while Tofu bears an uncanny resemblance to Jean-Claude van Damme, Snafu's filial similarity is to his career.
Actually, I've just spotted my error (I was drunk when composing my original message - I know, I know) - would you be so kind as to spare my blushes by not pointing it out to anyone else?
Posted by: Simon at February 5, 2005 05:58 PMI gotta say though, if ever I see Tofu marketed by the Soylent Corp. I'd think twice . . .
Posted by: Simon at February 5, 2005 05:59 PMI just assumed you meant "otterly."
Posted by: flamingbanjo at February 5, 2005 08:44 PMI just found your blog. Via some guy named Thomas, via Chezmiscarriage.
You... you pretty funny, amigo.
I have a foul-mouthed girl talk infertility blog, and sorry, but I just added you to my blog roll.
You can come pee in my pool anytime. Yo.
Posted by: Jen/The Vintage Uterus at February 8, 2005 06:28 PMRight next to the link for the Onion! Thanks!
Posted by: flamingbanjo at February 9, 2005 06:22 PM