As I'm writing this, unconfirmed reports of the Pope's demise have begun to circulate. The church has still not issued an official statement. Be that as it may, as I was reading the latest news, I couldn't help but notice this little ritual:
"Under church protocol, Cardinal Somalo stands over the Pope's body and calls out his birth name, "Karol", three times to ensure he is dead. He then strikes the Pope's forehead three times with a small silver hammer... The hammer is next used to smash the Pope's official ring of office, a tradition based on the ancient practice of using the ring to fix wax seals on papal documents. "
Now granted, it is a silver hammer (I wonder whose job it is to polish the pope-hammer in preparation for the Holy Forehead-Bonking?), but still it seems kind of undignified. Especially if it turns out he's not really dead. That would be embarassing, having an angry, startled pope yell "ow!" after you hit him on the head with a hammer. Plus, it's probably a cardinal sin to strike a living pope with a hammer.
I almost suspect that the Vatican is playing a little April Fool's joke on all of us:
"Just kidding about the hammer, people. We don't really do that."
If so, I think it's in very poor taste.
I'm probably going to some special hell for mocking the hammer, but honestly there's no disrespect intended here. I just think it's weird, is all.
Posted by flamingbanjo at April 1, 2005 12:07 PM"Polishing the pope-hammer" is my new favorite euphamism for everything.
Posted by: molly at April 1, 2005 05:45 PM"Polishing the pope-hammer" is my new favorite euphamism for everything.
seems like you should be able to work in something about his nationality, too. like, "polishing the Polish pope's silver hammer"... we're moments away from a tongue twister.
Posted by: anne at April 1, 2005 09:55 PMhows 'bout:
"putting a Polish polish on the pope-hammer"
does that incorporate it acceptibly?
This has to be the best "hitting the pope in the head with a hammer" blog entry ever. good post.
Posted by: Mahon at April 2, 2005 05:39 PMPlus, it's probably a cardinal sin to strike a living pope with a hammer.
Probably not as big a sin as, like, burying a living pope. Which is obviously what the hammer bonking thing is about.
Posted by: Joshua at April 3, 2005 03:00 PMSounds to me like you're damned if you do, damned if you don't.
I kid, I kid.
Posted by: flamingbanjo at April 3, 2005 05:18 PM