Beauty and Fashion Tips:
I don’t know how to break this to you, honey, but “tanning” is strictly passé. The upscale salons have all closed, and nobody, but nobody’s getting those high-pressure spray-on “ultra-bronze” tans anymore. Please, girlfriend! Tanning is so early-nineties! It’s all about the burning these days.
The beautiful people from Hollywood to the French Riviera have long known that there’s nothing like the healthy Campbell’s Tomato Soup glow of a freshly-sunburned epidermis to advertise your active, on-the-go lifestyle. Now, finally there’s a way to achieve this look without an heiress’ budget. Remember, the sun shines just as bright on Coney Island as it does in the Hamptons!
In the rainy season those who can’t afford weekend Cancun getaways can retouch their color with a visit to the Burning Salon. After putting on a pair of protective goggles (or not), you lie down on one of an ultraviolet Burn Beds and relax. Read a book, listen to music or take a little nap. After an hour and a half to two hours you can walk out with a world-class sunburn that will last for a week or more.
What, you say you’d love to sport that hot red look when you hit the nightclubs, but you don’t have two hours every week to spend at the salon? For active type-A’s like you, there’s always the spray-on option. A simple pigment-shade adjustment and that drab old “bronze blah” becomes “spicy jalapeno”, “wild cherry” or “fire-engine red”! Or switch it up with an application of an understated “embarrassment crimson.” Just remember to reflexively wince anytime somebody touches you, and nobody will be the wiser.
Shhhh... --it’ll be our little secret!
Posted by flamingbanjo at April 25, 2005 08:05 PMyou do very well at the "frighteningly plausible" writing. my attention span was too short to make it through the whole warfare part 2 (perhaps after more coffee) but this has me thinking it's a good time to invest in panthenol products, because hey. spicy jalapeno indeed.
Posted by: anne at April 25, 2005 12:02 AMA of all) Welcome back!
B of all) I always wanted a skin tone that matched the color of my VW bus -- and now, apparently, I can!
Posted by: KING COMTE I at April 25, 2005 10:38 AMhow long before spray-on skin cancer comes into vogue?
also: happy birthday! late. (had no internet access yesterday.)
Posted by: raej at April 26, 2005 10:46 AMThanks!
Posted by: flamingbanjo at April 26, 2005 03:55 PM