April 28, 2005

These are the sorts of things that I find written on post-its and napkins when I clean out my pockets later:

Books I have read, in their entirety, today:
I am a Bunny, by Richard Scarry.

I find something new every time I read this one.

British sitcoms that exist only in my mind:

Bob’s Your Uncle
Oh, Pants!
Give us a bell, mum
Dodgy bangers
What’s all this, then?

I found this written on the back of a menu for a Chinese restaurant. Its origin remains a mystery to me:

Come on down to Phil’s Apocalypse Furniture Clearinghouse and Resurrection Ministry! We’re making deals like there’s no tomorrow!

  Specials now on our entire line of Divine Loveseats, Endtimes End tables, Rapture Recliners and Apostle Sectionals. All items priced to move! Friendly financing allows you to take it home today and make no payments for up to a year! That means if the Rapture comes in the next year (as many are predicting) you pay NOTHING!!

  So come down to Phil’s and go home with the furniture of your dreams! Remember, only Jesus saves more than you will when you shop at Phil’s!

Phil’s: Our prices are a Revelation!

Posted by flamingbanjo at April 28, 2005 03:54 PM
Comments

Damn, those are great.

And now you have someplace to share them. See? The internet's good for something after all.

Posted by: Joshua at April 29, 2005 04:08 PM

Although I don't know you and just happened to stumble upon your blog, you write very 'deeply'

Posted by: Rou at May 2, 2005 08:20 PM

for personal reasons i find "bob's your uncle!" an unsettling phrase. . .tragoidiphobia: fear of finding yourself inside of a greek tragedy.

Posted by: raej at May 5, 2005 12:58 PM

I actually have two "Bobs" as uncles. Because of this, I believe that I never really have been faced with the full impact of that phrase.

Richard Scarry is burned in my brain, like some white phosphorous flash from my formative years... I can still recite many stories from memory, verbatim. "In the spring, I chase the butterflies, and the butterflies chase me."

Posted by: Jubilation at May 9, 2005 03:00 PM

i find strange things like that written in weird places, generally after i've either been drinking or doing some sort of other mind-altering thing. they usually make sense but have no context.

it's the ones that you know you wrote when you were sober that are the scariest.

Posted by: amy.leblanc at May 18, 2005 10:25 AM