July 29, 2005
The Price of Freedom is Eternal Vigilance
The Enemies of Freedom are massing across the border, drawn to Canada by socialized medicine, gay marriage and lax marijuana laws. They stand poised at our doorstep like travelling salesmen peddling TERROR, they are knock knock knocking at that door with an ever-growing fervor, and any moment they will just barge right in and start unpacking their suitcases of DESTRUCTION in the very living room of Liberty. Like all true Americans you want to stand and fight, as the courageous Minutemen did over two centuries ago, fight against the onslaught of tyranny, but you are sleepy, oh so sleepy...
How will you remain alert in the long, still hours of calm before the impending conflagration? How?
For the best in over-the-counter counterterrorism, trust safe, legal caffeine to help keep you working hard and fighting for freedom. Caffeine: Your ally in the War against EVIL.
Posted by flamingbanjo at July 29, 2005 12:37 AMDamn, dude. I didn't think you were joking... but I kind of hoped you were.
Posted by: molly at July 29, 2005 04:48 PMAw, clearly the active ingredient in "a nice cup of shut the Hell up"!
http://www.cafepress.com/shop/military/browse/Ne-10036_pv-ncoerstore.9429115_p-7_N-3816+10037_bt-2
Posted by: KING COMTE I at August 1, 2005 05:34 PMThat is fucking hilarious. Sometime, I'll have to scan in what I got out of a bar bathroom vending machine. It promised one of a "grab bag" of naughty novelties, and I got... get this... wait for it...
a "Freedom Tickler."
Absolutely serious. THAT was the funniest thing I'd ever seen. I've been holding on to it as a sort of "time capsule" type deal. I figure it'll be a cultural artifact some day.
Posted by: Sean at August 4, 2005 02:00 PM
i bet these things are being sent by the hundreds in care packages to troops in the middle east. pure marketing genius!
excuse me while i throw up a little bit.
Posted by: amy.leblanc at August 5, 2005 09:57 AM