FlamingText

Questions prompted by reading this story about a Chinese cosmetics company selling high-quality, low-cost collagen products made from the flesh of recently-executed prisoners:

1. Although the article states that the company producing these products cannot be named for "legal reasons", could the authors give us a hint? For example, does the company name contain the word "soylent?"

2. Does this stuff really work? I mean, will it smooth out the Furrowed Brow Syndrome (FBS) crease I'm getting that becomes more pronounced with every passing year? Or the "Holy Shit!" Shocked And Dismayed Eyebrow Syndrome (ShADES) lines that etch themselves a little deeper every time I pick up a newspaper?

3. Is the process whereby real life is becoming indistinguishable from a dystopian science fiction nightmare world actually accelerating, or is that just me getting older and falling out of step with the times? Will worrying about it make me less attractive? Could botox help?

4. Angelina Jolie's kissable, "bee-stung" lips: Suspicious?

5. Say somebody was in the market for some kind of over-the-counter Firming Cream, one that helped eliminate cellulite from the area around the buttocks and thighs and shaped as it lifted, but didn't cost an arm and a leg -- are there any American companies, say Wal-Mart for example, that sell a low-cost product such as this? I'm asking for, uh, a friend.

6. Chinese agricultural interests have been actively seeking "Organic" certification for certain crops grown for export to the U.S. and Europe, in spite of a lack of any practical means for verifying the conditions under which said crops are grown. Could this cosmetics company apply similar logic to ship their product with a sticker that says "Cruelty Free: Not Tested On Animals" alongside a graphic of a happy, fluffy bunny? If the answer is "no", could they appeal to the WTO?

7. What exactly does a country have to do to not receive most-favored nation status?

8. Do Universal Human Rights make my ass look fat?

9. Which is a better value for the money? The Falun Gong Skin Treatment or The Counter-Revolutionary Vanishing Cream?

10. Free-market advocates have long contended that the best way to improve conditions in countries with longstanding institutionalized disregard for human rights is to conduct open trade with those countries, because the rising tide of economic prosperity will inevitably lead to reform and democratization. What are these free-market advocates smoking, and how might I go about obtaining some?

11. Will this posting cause my blog to stop showing up on Google and Yahoo searches in some parts of the world?

Posted by flamingbanjo at September 14, 2005 12:07 PM