FlamingText

Too Legit to Quit?

   Okay, I'd just like to point out one more thing about this whole Tom DeLay story that's been largely ignored in the coverage that I've seen. After this I won't bring it up again and we can all get on with the business of forgetting who this person is and why he used to be important and how he ended up with the nickname "the Hammer" in the first place.

   It has to do with this story from a few weeks back about how DeLay and some other GOP luminaries spoke at a conference held in D.C. by Vision America. Vision American is a group founded by the Rev. Rick Scarborough, a prominent Texas preacher and radio personality with a large following among the "values voters" there. The conference was called the War On Christians Conference, which makes attending it sound like a politically risky move for DeLay until you realise it's a conference for American Christians who believe their values are under attack and not a conference on how to wage war on Christians as the name would seem to imply.

   Even if there actually were such a conference organized by Christianity's enemies, DeLay wouldn't be there, no matter how many voters were in attendance, for DeLay, you see is a fierce warrior for Christian values, which are currently under assault, at least according to Vision America. .* Here's how "the Hammer" drove his point home for the crowd:

"Sides are being chosen, and the future of man hangs in the balance!" Mr. DeLay warned, apocalyptically. "The enemies of virtue may be on the march, but they have not won, and if we put our trust in Christ they never will. ... It is for us then to do as our heroes have always done and put our faith in the perfect redeeming love of Jesus Christ."

   While some might call it a bold and reckless move for a politician to come down on the side of the religion of choice for upwards of seventy percent of Americans, DeLay is not to be deterred. In spite of the formidable political muscle wielded by liberal elites, neo-pagans and homosexuals, DeLay has again and again stood up for the "perfect redeeming love of Jesus Christ" by carrying out the savior's repeated biblical imprecations against stricter labor standards in the Mariana islands and for preferential licensing and tax exempt status for certain tribal casinos.

  In spite of his tireless work in the cause of righteousness or perhaps because of it, DeLay has for the past year found himself beset by enemies on all sides, just like Joan of Arc or Saint Bartholomew before him. DeLay’s indictment in Texas on money-laundering and conspiracy charges as well as persistent questions regarding his longstanding political ties to indicted über-lobbyist Jack Abramoff have been at the center of his recent political troubles, with the former forcing him to resign his position as House Majority Leader and the latter further damaging his reputation when Abramoff was found guilty and sentenced on March 29th, one day after DeLay gave his speech at the conference wherein he assured the rapt audience that there was no cause for fear:

“Of course there is a war on Christianity,” he told attendees. We are living in a nation dominated by liberal elites and a hostile media that "... all but treats Christianity like some second-rate superstition.’’*

“But, he added, “No matter how cowardly the evil before us may be, it is nothing compared to the power and glory of God.’’

Preach it, brother Hammer!

   Scarborough alluded to DeLay’s difficulties in his introduction, stating "I believe the most damaging thing that Tom DeLay has done in his life is take his faith seriously into public office, which made him a target for all those who despise the cause of Christ," going on to state that "This is a man that I believe God has appointed." *
After DeLay finished giving his speech to thunderous applause, the host retook the podium and graciously reminded the politician: "God always does his best work right after a crucifixion."

Strong words! But fair enough. DeLay is like Jesus in so many ways that the allusion is, I think, more than appropriate. That is to say, being nailed to a couple pieces of wood and left to die for the crime of preaching love for your fellow humans is almost exactly the same as being implicated in fundraising irregularities after years of using the corrupt lobbying system to feather your nest, enrich your friends and achieve an all-but-unbreakable hold on power, and thereafter being forced to step out of public service in a cloud of scandal and shame, only to matriculate into a far more lucrative position in private consultancy.

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Can we all just agree that when a public figure makes direct appeals to religious values like this that it should be immediate grounds for suspicion? I mean, how often have we seen this progression:
1.Public figure makes a career out of espousing Christian, Judeo/Christian or just plain-old Family values. Usually this includes a heavy emphasis on those who don’t seem to share these values and what should be done about them.
2. Said person gets caught doing something that would seem to violate the very principles they publicly espouse.
Usually followed by
3. Public figure subsequently resigns in disgrace/ goes to jail/ gets off scot-free, perhaps issues an apology (or not) then goes right back to preaching about the deplorable values of others as if nothing happened.

   The pattern has become so familiar that no sooner do I hear a politician, preacher or pundit talking up those crowd-pleasin’ Judeo-Christian Family values than I start waiting for the other shoe to drop. You can set your watch by it. All I’m saying is, can't we just skip that whole middle step and just assume that somebody's up to no good the second they step up on a soapbox and and start in a-preachin' them old-timey Family Values? It would sure save time. We could start looking for where the bodies are buried right away.

It reminds me of an old Bill Hicks routine about Jesse Helms, the one with the punchline about how when he’s gone, his wife will be on CNN saying “I always wondered about Jesse’s collection of little shoes.”

Mr. Hicks may have been on to something.

Posted by flamingbanjo at April 9, 2006 03:14 PM