After a surprise visit to Baghdad today, President Bush found himself unable to leave the country when "his drivers were unable to locate the airport, " insiders say. Sources within the military security operation overseeing the President's visit, who asked not to be identified, confirmed reports that the Presidential motorcade left the Green Zone without maps or clear directions to the airstrip where Airforce One was being prepared for takeoff.
"There was no exit strategy whatsoever. I overheard the commander-in-chief complaining that he thought the route to the airport would be more clearly marked."
Fox News correspondent Sandahl Molar, who was stationed inside the Green Zone covering today's meeting between Bush and Prime Minister Nouri al-Maliki, was one of a crowd of reporters who picked up on the story after seeing the presidential limousine make its second circuit around the Republican Palace, which is currently serving as a temporary U.S. embassy.
"We wondered if they were taking a victory lap, but on the third pass the motorcade stopped and the President gave a short extemporaneous speech out the window of the limousine, saying "We are making excellent progress towards our goal. I have just now been on the phone with Secretary Rumsfield, and I believe it is only a matter of time before we are in possession of a reliable road map. We will not waver, we will not turn back, and we will not bring dishonor to the noble enterprise that our Coalition Forces are engaged in by stopping to ask for directions."
Despite his reassurances to the press, the President refused to give a timetable for his departure, saying only "It will take as long as it takes. The important thing is that we know there is an airport, and it is only a matter of time before we find it."
Rumsfield is believed to have informed the President that he had "no idea" how to get out of Iraq.
Posted by flamingbanjo at June 13, 2006 01:43 PMExcellent.
Posted by: anne at June 14, 2006 04:19 AMF-ing wonderful there, Banjo.
Posted by: sven at June 14, 2006 07:44 PMToo bad. He eventually found his way out.
Posted by: COMTE at June 15, 2006 12:28 PMComte: He was actually only there for five hours. So the REAL joke here is, when it's his ass on the line, that shit goes down like CLOCKWORK.
Also, I noticed in the press release that all his military escorts had body armor.
Posted by: flamingbanjo at June 15, 2006 12:36 PMUnderstoond. Evidentally, it also helps if most of your staff - and the press - thinks you're still asleep at Camp David.
Posted by: COMTE at June 16, 2006 10:03 AMGenius.
Posted by: nathaniel at June 16, 2006 08:38 PM