Mexico cocaine 'hidden in sharks'
Our greatest fears have now been realized: America's two greatest enemies, drug cartels and vicious man-eating sharks, have joined forces to form a new Axis of Evil. How long can civilization hope to stand against the dual scourge of this Great White Menace? How long I ask you?
In the same story, it is revealed that the cartels have also smuggled cocaine across the border in sealed beer cans, reaching new heights of deviousness by concealing an illegal, immensely profitable drug inside a container meant for a regulated, less profitable drug. Nefarious!
Posted by flamingbanjo at June 17, 2009 06:01 PM1. Those are definitely dead sharks. Not to say they couldn’t be menacing if you left the freezer unplugged.
2. Re: drug smuggling within religious statues: Thank you for not making the obvious opiate of the masses joke. Forgive me for even mentioning this.
3. I hate to quibble about a minor point (almost as much as I hate to look shit up), but “less profitable” disregards economies of of scale, of course. Per MarketWatch, Bud-pushers (har!) Anheuser-Busch’s net profits were $2.6 billion last year. The WSJ says Miller/Coors’ net revenue in 2008 was $25.3bn, though they claimed profits of “only” $1.88 bn. The math seems a little odd, but what do I know about the intricacies of making pissy beer? I’m sure the CEOs earned every penny of their gazillion semolians.
4. Shouldn't I be working?
Posted by: There's Always a Big "But" at June 19, 2009 02:06 PM