FlamingText

The Onion: When they nail it, they really nail it

Heroic PETA Commandos Kill 49, Save Rabbit

Headline Of The Day:

Mexico cocaine 'hidden in sharks'

Our greatest fears have now been realized: America's two greatest enemies, drug cartels and vicious man-eating sharks, have joined forces to form a new Axis of Evil. How long can civilization hope to stand against the dual scourge of this Great White Menace? How long I ask you?

In the same story, it is revealed that the cartels have also smuggled cocaine across the border in sealed beer cans, reaching new heights of deviousness by concealing an illegal, immensely profitable drug inside a container meant for a regulated, less profitable drug. Nefarious!

One Day My Prince Will Come

Today a certain local granting organization sent me out to review a performance by the Seattle Girl's Choir. The music was good but an alarming number of "traditional" songs feature lyrics about girls being purchased/bartered/abducted into marriage. Kinda disturbing.

I liked the Shaker songs, though.

Sentences like this one should really help lure young people into careers in science:

"Researchers tickled 22 young apes and three humans and acoustically analysed the laughing sounds that resulted."

There is some accompanying footage showing a researcher tickling a gorilla. Which you gotta admit, looks good on a resume.